The Line for Week 11, Albuquerque Memorial, Animal-American Awareness Week – 11/14/13
We here at The Line are still deeply saddened by the events in Oakland, but we realize that we must bring the cold rationality and analysis that our subscribers deserve, and so it is with heavy hearts that we begin addressing this week’s match-ups in the UWFFL.
(For those of you wondering about The Line's opine on Animal-American Awareness week, The Line will reserve comments for another forum.)
The Line would be remiss, however, if we didn’t take into account the elephant in the room. (Erm, not intended as a slight towards any Pachyderm-Americans nor potential Republican presidential candidates, we assure.) Emotion and sentimentality often cause even a seasoned betting public to lose a sense of rationed perspective, and The Line is taking this into account with not only the explanation of the spread, but also the reasoning for exactly why The Line says where the smart money should go.
That being said, here now is this week’s action:
Atlanta at Chicago
Chicago, at the direction of their reinvested owner, has undergone a fairly major overhaul of their look. Now, the Cyclones kept the same color palette, they (unfortunately) kept the Twister/Serial Killer font for the team word mark, but we now see a West Virginia inspired number font, appearing on the right hemisphere of a red to black radial gradient helmet and on their jersey numbering. (Why? A Pittsburgh Steelers nod? They forgot the other side? ::insert unknowing shrug of shoulders here:: ) and a new gradient treatment on the shoulders of this week’s entry.
Sadly, gradients have not played well at all with UWFFL voters. At least in the minor leagues where Eagle Horror, er, Eagle Harbor have struggled with their treatment all year. (The Line also thinks the black number outline with an additional white outline would serve this home uniform they’re sporting now a world of good, but that’s just our unsolicited opinion…)
This is also the first time in The Line’s recollection that the design of the helmet number is the same size if not larger than the front jersey number.
Atlanta goes with their classic away look with the addition of a memorial helmet sticker and the switch to their mustard yellow pants that absolutely pounded the snot out of Tampa on week 10. The Line does not expect Atlanta to have any trouble with Chicago, but 17 voters is a very large spread that will cause some bettors to hesitate and gamble on the new Cyclone design, because 17 is a hell of a lot of voters to spot anyone.
The Line, however, is not one of those bettors. The Line loves the effort, but Atlanta on the road ain't no joke, and the beatdown on Tampa has still left an impression in our minds.
Current spread favors road Atlanta by 17.
The Line says: Take visiting Atlanta minus the 17
Miami at Minnesota
Miami reverts back to their successful color palette and revised new template. This is the first appearance of the silver pants and where The Line has seen the white away jersey before in a white on white monochrome look that rolled against a disastrous Texas black on black monochrome on week 8, we don’t necessarily have a historic handle on how the addition of silver to the blue, yellow and white spectrum we’ve seen so far will play with the UWFFL voters. (The Line likes it, but we’re a decided minority, and The Line knows that the public and our taste doesn’t necessarily coincide…)
Minnesota? The Line wondered if they will pull out the blue over white look that has been oh so successful, but at this point in the season, has that Mustang may have been run just bit too much? Would it not be a good move to trot a tweak out a few furlongs to see how it might run in the Playoff Derby?
But instead, Minnesota posts the monochrome whites at home, pretty much the same template for the third week in a row, losing the stars on the white pants from last week and going back to their traditional red and blue striping, setting up a white versus white “Snowblind in the Stable” match up.
Again, monochromes typically do not meet with voter approval, and for Minnesota to wear white at home is uncharacteristically weak for the division leader, and The Line can see where Miami utilizes the strength of their new templates.
(Update: 11:10 EST 11/14/13 Okay, they’ve just updated the lineups. Minnesota is indeed going with their traditional blue over whites home template with no other changes. Hmmm. This makes for a far better matchup, but 7 voters is 7 voters, and the Mustangs last two games margin of victory was 5 against Seattle and Detroit. So we still takes the 7 and see who decides to show out this weekend, because The Line thinks this one comes down to the wire.)
Current spread favors visiting Minnesota by 7.
The Line says: Take home Miami plus 7
New York at Detroit
Despite Detroit’s shenanigans, floating out an experimental sketch based on the design “In The Times Before The Now” tm, the Demons go instead with the home version of the design that beat Atlanta at their home strip, but also surprisingly lost to San Francisco during an ill-fated Veteran’s Day alteration at the Ring of Fire.
It’ll be interesting to see how this plays with the black and red jersey over the new black barbed stripe on white pants roll.
New York pulls out the Tiger Shark whites over black template, with blue trimmings… it’s damned hard for The Line to argue with success, and they have rolled with this look all season long to a 9 and 1 record.
Not exactly sure why the spread is not larger than the 7, considering New York and Detroit’s records and performance this season, but 7 is where it is currently standing.
Current spread favors visiting New York by 7.
The Line says: Go with home New York minus 7
San Diego at Seattle
San Diego rolls out their grey on grey with storm green and black linear sleeving. (The Line thinks we may have to do some research into how well the monochrome look has done this season to support our idea that they generally fare poorly, but again, another time)
San Diego continues their back in black homestand look that was victorious in week 10, bringing back their lucky Starbuck patch and sporting the helmet memorial patch.
It’ll no doubt be close, and the current spread reflects that, but The Line’s knowledge of the voters’ general antipathy towards monochrome looks will prove to break up the Storm front, and tip the scales towards the Seattle “ahem” Football Club.
This is the second week Seattle has been involved in a Pick’em match up. The Line thinks it’s a result of their uneven showings, but that’s just word on the street.
Current spread favors neither, it’s Pick’em.
The Line says: Go with home Seattle straight up.
Tampa at St. Louis
St.Louis goes with a rather classy and subtle white helmet, gold jersey and white pants combo. The Line was privileged to see an advanced preview and we must admit that the look has grown on us.
Tampa debuts a variation on a theme… this is the first time this particular combination has been used this season, and the jersey is the white version of their more commonly used red with yellow away jersey over red pants look. We personally like it, but we’re generally concerned with that much red, now that it is not paired with another color, the red looks even more pronounced now that it is more accentuated by the absence of that pairing.
(Okay. It looks like a ketchup bottle to The Line's eye, but we're just strange that way...)
It’s a very similar look to what lost to Miami in week 7, but St. Louis isn’t exactly countering the Terror with what Miami brought to the table that week, either.
The Line has gone back and forth between both clubs, but fortune favors the bold (and the vibrant).
Current spread favors visiting Tampa by 3.
The Line says: Go with Tampa minus the 3.
(But we wouldn’t be all that surprised if it goes the other way…)
Texas at San Francisco
This week, San Francisco stores the vanilla crème Trogdor helmets and reverts back to their traditional black hats. black jersey with yellow numbers, red trim and the white with red flame pants. This look gave a visiting Atlanta all it wanted before losing 31-28 on week 5, but the 9-11 variant lost to Texas 22-6, but we feel that is pretty much an outlier…
Texas goes with their far more traditional away look that has gone 1-1 this year, and as far as the rematch goes (SF beat Texas on Opening Week, 28-19, with Texas wearing , you guessed it, monochrome greens) this whites over greens combination is one of their better options, and the Reign of Fire doesn’t really bring anything newer to the table.
The Line thinks San Francisco ultimately wins, but we don’t think they can cover the eight,
Current spread favors home San Francisco by 8.
The Line says: Go with visiting Texas plus the 8.
The Line would also like to express our feelings on the changes incorporated by some of the minor league teams in response to the Animal-American Awareness initiative:
What the hell are you guys thinking? I’m looking at you, Sacramento, and you too, Vancouver. Seriously, man. Playoffs and positioning being so critical at this point of the season, and you, Sacramento, go from that spectacular scorpion design to a debatable Star Wars nod…? And Vancouver, instead of the remarkable First Nations look that has been so wonderfully executed all season, you pull out the old uniforms from that Jamaican Olympic Bobsled team because you don’t want to offend some zoologist with an overactive righteous indignation gland?
Honestly. :: uninstalling soapbox 2.0 ::
Much love to our sponsors : Shecky Greene’s Intergalactic Casino, Ruinum, Ninjas, NuKlear Soda, and Leninade.
Follow The Line on Twitter, Google Plus, Facebook, Pintrest, Soundcloud, Ebay, IFTTT, HabitRPG, the ADHD Online Support Community, DeviantArt, Reddit, YouTube and online at JustWhoTheHellIsThisLinePersonAnyway.com and check out our new podcast, The Extended Line, soon to debut on the Sports Puck Network.
Updates tomorrow as necessary. And again, thoughts and prayers extended to the entire Albuquerque Red Skins family…
mp3 download
